Why is that I had so much motivation to lose weight last winter? Why is it that I can't find the time now even thought I have it? Why can't I just go for a walk? Why can't I stop eating sugar?
Those seem to be question running through my mind lately. I can't figure out why? I question every thing, but can't find the answer. I find myself wanting to do nothing, eating candy or other sugary things and I just can't snap out of it. Its starting to really get to me. The thing is that I have tried three times since Oliver was born to get back into shape and lose the weight...but I haven't done it. I am depressed about my weight and am I starting to be really negative about the way I look again. I never wanted this to happen. I never got to enjoy my skinny body! I think I resent that! I think I can break through this being strong, but hate myself for putting on so much more weight then I needed to while pregnant.
I cry to myself because I am so tired or this! I need to stop and look at me. And do it for me, lose the weight so I can be the girl inside that I use to be. The confident and out going girl that I miss so much!
Today is the day, no matter what! I will do this! I will lose the weight come the end of December I want to be down 35lbs, that's 5 lbs for the rest of this month and 10 lbs for each month after that. Baby steps, I just have to take one at a time and I will be there again. No reward in the end [besides the girl I want to be]. Well maybe a nice Christmas gift for myself...who knows those. I just NEED to do this for me!
Please ignore Anonymous' ridiculous comment. This is life with PCOS. It's really hard to stay motivated when it is so difficult to lose weight. It's been hard for me to lose weight lately because it's so stinkin' hot here in TX that I can't go enjoy my walks around the park.
ReplyDeleteYou have to force yourself into working out for the first few weeks, until it gets to be more of a habit. Pick some time during the day to take Oliver out on a walk, and do it. Try to get the hubby to go with you. Even if you feel crappy and don't want to do it, you'll feel much better about yourself after you do. Good luck!